Resolute: Lina's Story

It was three days before the Matric Ball. Linamandla stared at her reflection in the mirror, the soft hum of amapiano playing faintly in the background from her younger brother’s room. Her dress was already picked—elegant, simple, and modest, just the way she liked. But it wasn’t the dress that made her anxious. It was what came after.

She heard her friend's voice filling the passage as she walked through her home. ‘Hi ma, I’m just here to see Lina and make sure everything is coming together for the MD.’ Mahle said to Linamandla’s mom. Mahle was well liked by her family but they didn’t know the side she hid so, of course her parents thought she was a good girl. 

‘Linaa a!’ Mahle’s voice pierced through the silence of her thoughts as she barged into the bedroom. Mahle, beautiful and bold, with her perfectly laid wig and bright personality. Everyone loved her. Everyone wanted to be her.

‘So... are you coming to the after-party?’ Mahle grinned, holding up her phone with the event flyer. ‘It’s gonna be lit, babes! Everyone’s going. I heard even DJ Zulu might pull up.’

Linamandla hesitated. She already knew about the party. The kind of after-party that started innocent but ended with alcohol, hook-ups, and blurred lines. ‘I don’t know...’ she said softly. 

Mahle rolled her eyes. ‘Yoh, please don’t start with your Jesus girl vibes again. You can come and not drink. Just vibe with us, dance a little... Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone. Come on, you’re always a no show when I invite you places.’ Linamandla sat on her bed and looked at her friend, ‘I’ll have to talk to my parents but I don’t think they’ll be open to it. You know how they are.’ Mahle giggled, ‘well, that’s why you have me as a friend silly girl, we’ll tell them that you’re sleeping over at mine after the MD. Problem solved!’ Linamandla smiled as though in agreement but deep down she was very conflicted. 

That night, Linamandla sat in her room, journaling. Her Bible lay open on her bed. She read, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” (Romans 12:2 NKJV). It echoed through her heart. Why was it so hard to stand alone? Surely Jesus understood how hard it was trying to balance being a teenager in the world but also wanting to live for Him. 

She texted her older sister, Liyanda: ‘Can we talk? I’m struggling, hey.’ Liyanda responded almost immediately. ‘Come to my room, I’m done studying for the night.’ Linamandla took a deep breath getting ready to vent to her sister. 

Liyanda was only three years older but wiser, and grounded in the Word of God. When Linamandla arrived in her room, Liyanda hugged her tight. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked as they sat on her bed. ‘If I’m being honest sis, kuningi.’ Lina said giggling. 

‘It’s Mahle... the matric ball after party. I feel like I’m always the one saying no. Like I’m missing out. But I know if I go, I’ll regret it. And if I don’t, I’ll look like a loser.’ Lina dropped herself dramatically on her sister's bed. 

Liyanda nodded. ‘I’ve been there. In first year, I went to a “small braai” that ended with me walking home alone at 2am, crying. Just because I wanted to fit in. But let me show you something.’

She opened her Bible to Psalm 1. ‘Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly... but his delight is in the law of the Lord.’ 

‘Lina, God isn’t trying to keep you from having fun. He’s protecting you. Your no is your covering. Your convictions are your strength. Jesus didn’t die so we could live half-in, half-out. He gave it all.’ 

The words hit Linamandla like a wave. She started to cry. ‘I just want to please Him, but I’m so tired of being different.’

Liyanda held her hand. ‘That’s exactly what it means to carry your cross. You don’t walk in the crowd, you walk in Christ. And that’s where the joy is. Not fake fun. Real peace.’

Going to school and trying to save face with Mahle, pretending she was going to the after party was hard but Lina struggled to be upfront with Mahle about how she felt about it. Each day was a new idea on how to make the after party more crazy, from girls planning which guys they want, to lessons on lying to parents, it all became much for Lina. 

The night before Matric Ball, Mahle sent another message: ‘Babe I’ve got your name on the guest list! Let’s goooo!’ Linamandla didn’t respond immediately.

She prayed, ‘Lord, give me strength to stand. I don’t want to compromise. Help me be bold for You.’ Peace settled in her heart.

Matric Ball came, Linamandla’s mom and sister made a big fuss, inviting a whole lot of family and friends to see her off for the night ahead. She felt beautiful in her emerald green, off the shoulder sparkly dress. Her uncle drove her to the matric dance venue in his Range Rover Sport and when she arrived she took it all in. Everyone looked amazing, the dresses, suits and cars were over the top but Lina enjoyed every minute of it.

Linamandla danced and took pictures with her classmates and from afar she watched Mahle dancing the night away, surrounded by boys, chaos, and selfies. At midnight, Mahle found her and pulled her aside, ‘friend, you have been avoiding me tonight what’s up?’ Lina laughed, ‘why would I be avoiding you Mahle, I was just having fun with my classmates, I didn’t want to ruin your fun with your people.’ Mahle side eyed her. ‘If you say so, anyway, last chance, we’re leaving for the club soon are you coming?’

Lina took a breath, ‘no, Mahle. I’m going home. I don’t think it would be wise for me to go tonight but thank you for inviting me.’ Her voice was calm, but sure. Mahle blinked, surprised. ‘Suit yourself, girl’ she shrugged and ran off.

As the learners were leaving the hall, Linamandla walked outside, as she waited for her sister to come and pick her up she looked up at the stars and whispered, ‘Thank You, Jesus.’ She felt strong. Free. She hadn’t missed out. She’d won something greater. Herself. Her faith.

Her sister pulled up shortly after and as she walked toward the car, Psalm 119:9 echoed in her spirit: “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.” Linamandla smiled. She was no longer just trying to stand. She was standing.

Resolute.